Brand Voice Rewrite: Keela product description

Come and see what happens when I rewrite a Keela product description in 3 different brand voices.

Your product copy is a great place to let your brand personality shine. By tweaking elements like sentence length, rhythm and word choice, you change how you're communicating with your customers.

Let me show you some examples.

The original Keela product description for their Women’s Hydron Softshell Jacket

"When the weather demands it, our Hydron Softshell offers dynamic protection whether you are high on the hill or trekking in the countryside.

Using some of the most advanced technology our AirXtream Fusion fabric features a matrix inner face which regulates the movement of air and moisture away from the body; this paired with 2-way stretch and high water and wind resistance make the Hydron Softshell perfect for any adventure."

This is the product copy Keela are using on their website (as of December 2023). It talks about how you can use the jacket - high on the hill or trekking in the countryside. It talks about the technology. If you check out their Core Beliefs page (no need, I've done it for you), you'll see that Innovation, Quality and Technology are their founding principles. So it makes sense for them to tell us about the technology in the product.

In this example, Keela use quite formal language and advanced vocabulary, like 'you are' instead of 'you're', the phrases 'dynamic protection' and 'matrix inner face which regulates...' Plus a semi-colon. With this confident, formal language with long sentences, I'd say that in this copy Keela is leading with their authority. Having read about the brand and seen how important technology and innovation are, it makes sense for their authority and expertise to be a key part of how they communicate.

But let's play around and see what happens when we write it in different brand voices.

Rewrite #1

The Hydron Softshell is here to give you dynamic protection. The advanced AirXtream Fusion fabric technology consists of a pique weave with DWR treatment bonded to a hydrophilic membrane. A combination or materials brought together in one of our highest level performance systems yet. The Air Channel Matrix system minimises contact with inner clothing or skin without constraining body movement. Get out there and put it to the test.

I've taken the level of authority up a notch here. The sentences are shorter, almost more aggressive. The complex terminology maintains this position of authority and I've taken out the references about how the product might be used (in the original these toned down the element of authority by adding in more accessible concepts. This one is not trying to be accessible or friendly at all. It's almost like it's talking over your head. It's a confident voice that you don't wanna mess with.

Rewrite #2

Don’t let changeable weather stop you from enjoying the outdoors. When you’re out exploring and find yourself faced with a weather cocktail of light showers, occasional gusts of wind, spots of sunshine, the Hydron Softshell Jacket has got your back. We’ve used our AirXtream Fusion in this jacket, so it’s perfect on its own or as a mid layer when it's chillier. And with two-way stretch, you can move freely. Less bulk, better insulation, but still durable. It’s a good ‘un.

See how this one is a lot more friendly? It uses more informal and colloquial language and focuses more on the user benefits. It's all a lot more reader-focused, making it more accessible. The complex terminology has been stripped out, and the focus is more on what it's like to wear. Contractions like 'you're' and language like 'so it's perfect...' make this more conversational.

Rewrite #3

From dawn-to-dusk treks across the Scottish highlands to Sunday morning strolls, the Hydron Softshell gives you truly versatile protection. The AirXtream Fusion technology delicately combines overall durability with stretch material to ensure ultimate comfort. The matrix inner face regulates the movement of air and moisture away from your body, so you can enjoy the outdoors in extreme comfort and protected from the elements.

This one uses longer sentences, like the original, and complex vocabulary. However, it's a lot more descriptive and poetic. Like the second rewrite, it focuses on the reader and their experience. Rather than being an authoritative voice, it's a voice that wants to connect with the reader, on a more emotional level even.

Brand voice support for outdoor brands

There are so many aspects you can tweak to make your copy sound more like you, from sentence length to vocabulary choice, what you say (and don't say), how you relate to your customers through the words you use.

If you feel like your brand voice could do with a boost, or your copy doesn't feel consistent, get in touch and I'll show you how I can help.